Nurturing Our Soul

Finding Peace

Florence Rosales was a dedicated nurse at White Memorial for 30 years. It was a shock to everyone when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

My relationship with Florence didn't begin until she was admitted to the hospital for her illness. I recall the first time I walked into her room and was met by that beautiful, friendly smile of hers. By that time the chemotherapy had robbed her of nearly all he hair and the cancer had sapped her of nearly all her strength. She was able, however, to sit up, feed herself and walk.

During our many talks together Florence rarely mentioned her sickness. She always portrayed an attitude of trust and hope for the future. Some say this was denial, and they are probably right to some extent. No one likes to face a devastating illness. Nevertheless, I know there was another reason. She simply could not bear the thought of burdening others with her problems. In fact her biggest concern about being in the hospital was that she could not care for those she loved.

A few weeks into her hospitalization Florence's hope was dealt a serious blow. I had gone to her room and not finding her there I asked the attending nurse where she was. I was told she was doing her physical therapy, which consisted of walking around the medical unit. I found Florence in the hallway being placed in a chair because she didn't have the strength to continue walking.

As I came closer I heard Florence apologizing to the physical therapist for not being able to continue. I could see that she was very discouraged and distraught, so I just held her and told her I would come to see her when she returned to her room. It was the last time that she would ever walk.

When I arrived at her room, Florence was visibly battling with a great emotional struggle. I pulled a chair close to the bed and took her hand in mine. Looking at me she said in a very small voice, "Pastor, I'm so weak." Not having the words to reply we just wept together.

After some time had passed she said, "I don't understand why this is happening to me." Drying her tears I said, "I don't know either Florence. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. But I do know that God is good. He loves you very much, and where God is and where there is trust in Him there is hope."

"Pray for me Pastor," she said, "that I will have the trust I need not to lose hope." So we prayed together, and I left her with her thoughts.

I thought and prayed about Florence many times that night. When I went to see her the following day I didn't know what to expect. I had left her in a very delicate emotional state. As I walked in the room I noticed right away that the burden she was struggling with was gone. There was a peace that filled her countenance. Physically she wasn't any stronger; in fact she was probably weaker.

Nonetheless, she smiled when she saw me and when I came close to the bed she extended her hand to me and said, "Pastor I'm so glad you came. I had a dream last night that has given me a lot of comfort."

"I was dreaming that I was awakened by a loud trumpet blast and when I opened my eyes I could see the sky but the sky was filled with bright, shining angels from one end to the other. Everywhere I looked there were angels and in the center of the angels was Jesus. Then I heard Jesus say to me, 'Florence, wake-up!'

"I remembered that I was bedridden and was unable to move but Jesus was telling me to wake up so I lifted one arm. To my surprise it went up easily and felt stronger than I ever remembered. Then I lifted the other and was again astonished at the vitality that I felt. I moved my legs and slowly lifted myself to my feet marveling at the muscle tone, realizing that everything was perfect. As I looked I felt something brush across the back of my neck and I tentatively yet excitedly lifted my hands to my head and there was hair! Beautiful, soft hair!

"I couldn't stop crying tears of great joy. I lifted my hands to Jesus and thanked Him with all my heart. He then said to me, 'Florence you don't have to worry any more. From now on you will never again experience pain, sorrow, illness or even death. I have done away with all of these things forever.'

"After he said this I heard other voices calling my name so I turned and there beside me were my mother and father. As we embraced each other ever so tightly they said, 'Florence you look so good!' On the other side I heard more voices and turning there I found my brother and sister then my nieces and nephews and everyone I love and care for. We stood arm in arm crying, rejoicing and overflowing with joy.

"Once again I heard the loud trumpet sound and Jesus said to us, 'you have waited long enough! Come to place that I have prepared for you!' As he spoke we all, arm in arm, began to float upward and everyone began to cheer. It was then that I awakened and saw that the cheering was coming from the television. But nevertheless I felt a great peace settle over me."

Overcome with emotion at recalling her dream Florence paused for a moment to collect herself then said to me with conviction, "Pastor, I'm not afraid anymore." God had responded to her plea. She knew she had a future.

By Paul Crampton, Director of Chaplaincy Services